I am going to start this by saying there is NO particular person that I am writing about- it's a over all thing that I am seeing lately.Women- we are way to hard on ourselves. We are always talking about our weight, we never feel like we are enough mother for our kids, we don't feel like a sexy wife, we are just constantly putting ourselves down. And the worst of it is that we are the only one that feels that way about our own self. No body else feels this way about us! I have a a few friends that feel guilty when they spend time on Facebook. They say that there is so many other things that they could be doing with their time. Well then...go and do them I guess...but really there is nothing wrong with enjoying a few minutes ( and I mean 20 or less) looking and enjoying and corresponding on Facebook. It also ok not to have an activity planned out for your kids 24 hours a day! I personally think that is why I have lots o' kids...they can entertain each other. They can find there own things to do. Buy art supplies or workbooks or books and let'em at it! You don't have to be that women that sits there and watches EVERY stinkin' thing they do. Maybe I sound bad?..oh, there I go criticizing myself. All I am saying is that I don't think any less of you, my friends, if you go on Facebook or read a book that isn't kid related or, blog or do anything that it is for yourself. It is ok and those that say it isn't well then they can have their opinions on their own blog....if they blog. I just want my friends out there to know that it is alright to have these things for your self. That we might feel better about ourselves if we took more time for ourselves. That we don't have to be this Superwoman that is baking, while nursing, while driving our kids to school, while looking ultra sexy!...course maybe you can do those things all at once...then BRAVO for you! Just cut yourself some slack. Don't keep comparing you to someone else. We are all different. ((How many times do we give that advice to our kids!) Well, we are! Just because we all got married and became wives and mothers doesn't mean it's still not true! We need to stop being so critical of ourselves...and maybe we will find ourselves again.
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5 years ago
amen! we are so critical of ourselves very often.
ReplyDeletei often reflect about who i am and what i'm doing with my life. i think when i talk out loud (aka, on my blog) people take it too seriously, i am always striving for a good balance with things, not one way or the other is right.
but nursing while driving, baking and looking ultra sexy? sign me up! hahahaha
I so agree, but it is easier said than done, dontcha think? I agree w/ Annie. I think we just need to strive for a balance. BTW aren't we do for a girl's night out soon ;D
ReplyDeleteOK...Here's the way I see it. And this is not meant to be harsh. It is perfectly OK and HEALTHY to have time for yourself. My comments are rather guided toward the crticism that people place on themselves. When we think everyone else is thinking horrible things about us, then it is really selfishness. To spend out time thinking about the horrible things about ourselves is selfish. To constantly be consumed with thoughts about yourself is selfish. I say, get over it, realize that there is wisdom in learning from struggles, and always remember there is someone in this world that would much rather have your struggles than dealing with those that they currently have. Stop thinking about yourself so much that you have the time to criticize yourself and if you find yourself doing that...you are way too focused on YOU.
ReplyDeleteI agree Andrea. Sometimes we can be way too critical and demanding of ourselves. I've noticed that I will take the best quality of each of my friends and somehow put them all together into a superwoman to whom I then compare myself and feel discouraged that I don't measure up. I have to remind myself that no ONE person has ALL those qualities. One person may be a supermom, one is a great cook, while another person looks like a supermodel 24/7. We all have our own strengths and our own weaknesses and our own priorities about how we want to spend our time and efforts. I know I personally would be much happier by focusing on being grateful for my strengths and more patient of my weakness. No one can live up to the Betty Crocker /Supermom/V-string model/Scriptorian etc. standard that we seem to set up for ourselves. WE are the only ones who really expect such perfection of ourselves. Others love us for our strengths AND our weaknesses. Would we really want to have a best friend who was ALWAYS perfect in EVERY way? If I had a friend like that, I would probably hate her. ;-)
ReplyDeleteYou should read Sister Beck's talk from this years women's conference. It is wonderful, she has a section on the "essentials, necessary and "nice-to-do" things in our lives as well as an excellent section on being the lionesses of our homes. She points out that if we put the essentials and necessaries first-there is still plenty of time for the "nice-to-do's." And none of the essentials or necessaries require us to be "supermom". Actually, you can pretty much read any of her talks and feel better about yourself (unless you've yelled at your kids that day or skipped family home evening for the week) :-).
ReplyDeleteHi Wahls,
ReplyDeleteI just read through all of your blogs and love them. We sure do miss all of you. Love, Grandma Tish